chainsawriot's Diaryland Diary

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Fuckin' auditing

Wait and die.

The auditing of experimental result will start at 1530.

I think it may ruin my mood to St. Valentine Day.

15:02 - Friday, Feb. 14, 2003

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Burning Flag

These day, maybe the heart driven me to, the songs I play most in my iPod is Marilyn Manson and NIN. But, I play the song from their just so-so albums as the rock writer said. MM one is Hollywood, NIN one is Things falling apart. I don't know why I started to play those but not mechanical animal/Antichrist Superstar of MM or The Fragile of NIN. Maybe music taste of mine is weird. I am sorry I have to put down some trash right here, cos I find myself very implusive after listen to this song.

Burning Flag - MM

they want to sell it out, but it up, dumb it down

a good god is hard to find

i'll join the crowd that wants to see me dead

right now i feel i belong for the first time

multiply your death, divide by sex, add up the violence and what do you get?

we are all just stars and we're waiting

we are all just scarred and we're hating

we are all just stars on your burning flag

you can point your gun at me and hope it will go away

if god was alive, he would hate you anyway

my right wing is flapping, the left one is gray

let's hear it for the kids but nothing they say

they gyrate and g-rate on election day

we got out abc's and our f-u-c-k

multiply your death, divide by sex, add up the violence and what do you get?

we are all just stars and we're waiting

we are all just scarred and we're hating

we are all just stars on your burning flag

you can point your gun at me and hope it will go away

but if god was alive, he would hate you anyway

12:38 - Thursday, Feb. 13, 2003

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Walkaholic to school, workaholic or laziholic?

網上找到的「歡樂滿東華」Style打油詩

看更原來識雞腸 掃地都要寫文章
學士碩士唔馨香 因為博士都在場
人工一定唔理想 七仟左右已中上
十二個月無雙糧 兩年合約要裝香
半年之內有工返 已經算係好收場

在「招職」的留言版有人如是說

「After searching jobs for two years but failed, I applied CSSA(綜援)and was granted. I am just 30 something but I don't think I can get a job again, I will live on CSSA for the rest of my life.」

發言者是讀我那一科的畢業生。兩年...

同學都在討論讀甚麼post grad.科目,我在趕Result。

不能上前搭訕,因為我好有可能2nd Lower畢業,那就和post grad.無緣。也野i以2nd Upper畢業,但這可會很辛苦,而且只有兩三成機會。

按此跳過以下段落

就算可以2nd Upper畢業,能夠入post grad的機會也不大。〔1st hon的機會都只是一半半。〕更重要的是,到底我是否喜歡做research,經過FYP一役我自己已經很清楚。

說到底,一邊有錢一邊有書讀的確好吸引,我也應努力考個2nd Upper,讀不讀到post grad.就聽天由命。

因為這一段時間的困境,令我再想起前途問題。

其實畢業後未能繼續讀書,都有很多出路。就業市場要求生物科畢業生的不多。文職,IT是出路。有想過去養豬場,雞場,魚場工作,人工高〔9K up〕,沒有太多人會申請。但這方面的技術很難學。可能要去做無人工的見習生。

老婆叫我想階段不要找工作,叫我努力讀書,做好Project。那我現在只好省錢。省錢,騙自己的說法是「省錢是一種賺錢方法」。

※ ※ ※

這個日記已經不好看。起碼我自己覺得。

沒趣味,只有一些無謂的悲劇情緒。三年之後又三年,十年都快來啦。

1997=>2000=>2003

愈不好看的日記愈多字,開始覺得自己很多說話。

就如eddie兄所說,自己像困了在這個「diaryland」的虛幻世界般。

現實,是一個庸人。在旺角街頭掉下石油氣樽會打死數十個的庸人。

在diaryland裡,我卻是一個很有計劃很有壯志的人。肉體與外界抽離,只留下知性與理性上的我。〔我很討厭這一類的文句。〕故感覺上似是一個比較有用的人。

感覺上,在diaryland這個文字遊戲,我似在玩the sims那樣。

09:23 - Thursday, Feb. 13, 2003

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Diamond Dog

在Lab中發夢,於做實驗的泥土中找到鑽石,或者金粒,那就只有我知道Tai Po Kau有礦,我去開礦,那我就發達。

老實說,這個發現,比我能發現Tai Po Kau泥土的真菌生物多樣性和植物物種的關係更有用。

不過,發夢絕對無咁早。

仍在擔心能否在預訂時間表般完成工作,不過無論如何,要盡力。

浪花、男兒、熱血,悲痛是觸動人向上的能量。

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以下是我第一步的計劃

  • 帶飯返學
  • 以全脂朱古力奶代替所有飲料,因為又解渴又飽肚。這個是Eddie教的。
  • 改搭另一巴士路線上學,較慢但比較便宜,除非很趕時間。慳四元,每日可慳八元來回。
  • 放學後即回家,沒有必要不要留在油尖旺。

我的任何計劃,最少有80%是Fail的。這次,希望能夠成央A持之以恆。起碼,這只是很簡單的東西。

08:04 - Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003

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